When I think of the self I actually think about where I was in high school when I took a class like this compared to what I feel about myself now. I can't believe how different I am and How much my personality has changed and been effected by the things I have expereienced just in the amount of 5 years. I think if I met myself today and was my 17 year old self, I would well I don't know if I would like myself because I used to be so judgemental and close minded...thats so embarrassing to admit. I really was sheltered. But not because of my parents, because I was afraid to do things that would make me stand out too much, or take control of a situation or just being a truly confident person, which I feel I have a good start at becoming. I guess that is what they call growing up. It makes me sad, but not sad at the same time. I went through some rough stuff, some hard, horribel things that I had only hear of people experiencing. I never could truly have empathy for people because I didn't know anything even close to that sort of emotional trauma. I used to think people were so wimpy or scared but really, that was me... I think those people who are strong and confident are the ones that have had to find it in themselves to get through something hard. what ever it is, it was hard for them and that build up different emotions and experiences inside themselves. It shaped them and gave the inner secret of their own strength. I like tot think I have gone through that sort of a revamping. Found out things I never thought I could do...never dreamed of doing and didn't know that I even wanted.I really like who I am, and wht I can do, and I surprise myself (and my husband ) about things I can whip out and accomplish. I'm happy, and I think it will really contribute to me being a great mother. I actually kind of love that about myself....I know my old self would just be totally shocked and intimidated by my new self...but would secretly wish to be just like her. now that I think about it, my older sister was kind of like my older self at the time. She new things, and talked about experiences and things I'd never even thought about and was so confident in her own standards and opinions...I was amazing by her and wanted to be like her. I guess I actually ended up following her, although it was almost by force. Bo dying wasn't something I chose...that change was forced upon me and and brought out this totally new side of myself I would have never guessed was inside of me. I like how life can change you for the better if you let it. You can certainly take any other road from your expereinces, but the one that actually makes you a better person in many different aspects...thats the one I think should always be chosen.
- Kayla
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